Perfection is Overrated
by SibunaMockingjay
Summary: Maya is struggling to accept her appearance and turns to dieting for help. What will happen? Rated T for bulimia. I do not own Dove Cameron's 'What a Girl is' or GMW, just the plot. Read and Review! Eventual Lucaya
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** Hey, SibunaMockingjay here with a oneshot for Girl Meets World. Rated T for eating disorders such as bulimia. Please don't read if triggered. You have been warned. Eventual Lucaya at the end!

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own GMW or Dove Cameron's amazing song 'What a girl is', just the plot.

 **Maya's POV**

I look in the mirror and sigh. If perfection is such an impossible goal, then why is it everywhere I look except in the mirror. I glance at my fat and ugly body one more time before leaving my flat to pick up Riley before we get the train to school.

 **Riley's POV**

I grab my bag and count to five. Upon reaching five, I turn around and see Maya sat on the window sill. I smile.

'Morning, my perfect girl,' Maya says with a half-hearted, wistful smile.

'Hey, Maya,' I say taking her hands and sitting down beside her 'I am not perfect. There is nobody in the world that possibly could be'

'But you're the closest to it' and this time, Maya gives me a big smile and I become carefree Riley again.

-LINE BREAK-

 **Maya's POV**

Here we are, down in the subway. Me and Riley are on the train and as we hold onto the poles I lower my gaze. There is a young woman sat with good posture reading a mag. The picture on the front is of a beautiful woman with perfectly toned skin and shaped body.

Maya, you're no good. There's no way you could ever look as pretty as that or ever get a guy who is as good as Lucas.

My stomach does a somersault at the thought of his gorgeous, unusual eyes.

Maya, he likes Riley, not a ugly little whore like you.

My attention is grabbed by a few words on the front cover of the mag.

'Lose weight fast! See page 5'

-LINE BREAK-

Huh, school was as lame as usual. I pass the mirror and see my overweight body (A/N: She's not really, this is what Maya feels she is) staring back at me. Lucas never noticed me today, I just had to watch him and Riley flirt.

Nobody ever notices you, Maya, which is a miracle considering how fat you are. You a short and fat and you make me sick.

I think back to earlier- the mag I saw before. Losing weight seemed to be my only hope. I decide upon a strict low calorie diet and am determined to stick to it.

 **Riley's POV**

Maya is due to come over to dinner today.

'Riley, honey, would you mind laying the table?' calls Mom

At that moment the buzzer rings 'Hey losers, it's Maya'

'Ok mom, give me a sec,' I respond to my mom. I press the buzzer and reply 'Come on up, sis!'

I lay out the plates and fill up the glasses before Maya enters.

''Sup?' she says 'What's for dinner tonight?'

Maya has been eating at ours a lot lately. Her mother Katy has been struggling with the bills and having to work extra shifts means that she won't be home in time for dinner. Dad suggested that she could come to ours until things get sorted and maybe Katy gets a more stable job.

'Chicken casserole, Maya, you like?'

'Um, yeah,' she replys 'thanks for having me '

'Anytime, Maya,'

 **Maya's POV**

That mealtime is filled with continuous conversation and I am so engaged that I eat my entire meal without noticing. I glance down at my plate in horror.

'What's up? You still hungry?' says Topanga's concerned voice

'No, thank you, Mrs Matthews,' I hurriedly say 'I'll be back' and speed off to the restroom which is next to Auggie's room.

I shut the door and kneel by the toilet. I hurriedly force my fingers down my throat and the evening's dinner leaves my system. I wipe my eyes and reapply the eyeliner which had been streaked by the door, I'm taken aback to see none other than little Auggie Matthews stood outside the door.

'Maya, are you okay?' helooks at me concerned

'I'm okay Auggie, really.' I reply with a smile.

He blocks my way back and says

'I know you puked, Maya'

I look at him and say 'I'm fine,'

'No Maya, you have to tell Mommy that you're not well,'

'Here catch,' I say and toss him a five bucks

'Okay, fair enough,' he says and walks back without a word.

-LINE BREAK-

1 MONTH LATER

I stare in the mirror once more.

Maya, why can't you stop being weak minded and really lose weight. If this is your idea of perfection then you'd better realise you are far from it.

And from that moment, I begin on a long fast which I don't intend to break unless I achieve perfection.

-LINE BREAK-

It's day six of my fast when I press the buzzer to Riley's flat.

'Come on up, Maya!' says Mrs Matthews voice

As I approach the door, my vision begins to blur and I collapse, the world growing into an unbreakable darkness.

 **Riley's POV**

'Hey, Riles, Maya's headed our way!' calls Daddy

I'm worried about Maya. I intend to have a long talk at the window and find out what's going on with her. The ast two months , she hasn't seemed...like Maya.

I wait five minutes then grow impatient.

Mom, didn't you say that Maya was on the way up?' I call

'Yes, honey, why, isn't she hear yet?' my mom asks, a hint of worry in her voice

'No,'

' Maybe she's talking to someone...'

'Maybe...'

Five minutes turn to ten, ten turn to fifteen and now I'm in a state of worry.

Maya would be here by now.

'Mom, I'm going to find Maya!' I yell and run for the door.

I open the door and yell in fright when I see my best friend unconscious outside our apartment door.

 **Cory's POV**

I squeeze Riley's hand. I don't say anything, but I am seriously worried about Maya. Shawn, Katy, Topanga, Riley, Lucas, Farkle and I are waiting to hear the outcome.

'Hello, are you the friends and family of Miss Maya Hart?' question a young female doctor with a clipboard.

'Yes, yes, tell us the news!' says Shawn stepping forward.

'Well, after some tests, we have discovered that Miss Hart collapsed due to the lack of food. We found that she has been starving herself and throwing up what little calorie intake se had. She has not eaten for six and a half dayss. We have come to the conclusion that she is bulimic. I'm sorry,'

I feel sick. I failed her. I can see by Shawn's face that he feels the same. Riley buries her face in my shirt and sobs.

Maya, how could you feel like that?

 **-THE DAY MAYA CAME HOME-**

 **Maya's POV**

It's after a full, but small meal that I'm sat with Riley and Mr Matthews at the window.

'Maya, why?' Riley says. She's been quiet all dinner.

'I wanted perfection,' I say truthfully.

Mr Matthews gives me a long talk and afterwards lets me leave after promising him to never try something like that again.

I feel loved. Guilty for doing this to everyone.

-ONE MONTH LATER-

 _On the scale from one to ten,_

 _I am perfect how I am,_

 _I don't need your number_

 _I don't need your number,_

Recovery has been hard. But no matter what, I know that along with Riley, I have people there for me. Those who mind, don't matter and those who don't mind matter. That's what they said at support group.

 _And the stupid magazines_  
 _Want me to change my everything_  
 _It don't even matter_  
 _They're not taking my power (taking my power)_

Every time I look at the magazines, I realise how badly I fell for it. Never again, I think, never again.

 _I'm so over all of these voices around,  
They've said enough, it's my turn, let's get loud._

I have support group sessions twice a week. Shawn has been great, dropping me off and picking me up. He really cares. It's my turn to say my views on perfection. I stand up.

'I think, that, no matter who you are, you are beautiful, inside and out. The media, they try to influence us- not just girls, boys too,' I say and nod at two boys who are in the group. 'I think that I am as beautiful as I'll ever be and I'm not going down again'

 _I'll show you what a girl is,_  
 _'cause all of me is perfect._  
 _Who cares about a dress size,_  
 _Its all about what's inside._  
 _I'll stand up now_  
 _And won't back down._  
 _We're breaking through the surface,_  
 _To show you what a girl is._

All my aims of becoming size zero all seem a waste. A costly waste. I Maya Hart almost lost my life to this. I Maya Hart, have a second chance to change the world.

 _I'm feeling flawless in my skin_  
 _Your words don't mean anything._  
 _I'm done wasting my time (done wasting my time)_  
 _I can make up my own mind. (can make up my own mind_

With constant reassurance from the people who I am honored enough to call my family, I am becoming unbroken.

It's been 4 months, a gruelling four months. But I know that I'll get there.

-LINE BREAK-

(THE EVENTS OF GIRL MEETS TEXAS HAPPENS ONE WEEK AFTER THIS. IT IS NOW TWO WEEKS AFTER THEIR RETURN)

Lucas and I are going on a date. I am wearing a teal dress, tights and black heels. I am also wearing a leather jacket.

I come outside Topanga's to see Huckleberry waiting for me. His jaw drops and I say,

'You don't like? I can go change-'

I'm interrupted by Lucas' lips crashing onto mine. And in that moment, that's all that matters to me.

'I love you, Lucas,' I say

'So I'm not a Huckleberry anymore?' He chuckles

'You'll always be a Huckleberry, Ranger Rick. But you're my Huckleberry now'

 _I'll show you what a girl is,_  
 _'cause all of me is perfect._  
 _Who cares about the dress size_  
 _Its all about what's inside._  
 _I'll stand up now, and won't back down._  
 _We're breaking through the surface,_  
 _To show you what a girl is._  
 _We're breaking through the surface,_  
 _To show you what a girl is._

 **A/N: Woah, that was way longer than expected. I hope you all enjoyed this! Please Review!**

 **~SibunaMockingjay**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I am back with an unplanned epilogue to this story! Dedicated to the Guest who requested this! Thanks to Rose and Guest for reviewing. Rated T for eating disorders. Please don't read if triggered. I own nothing but the plot**

 **Rose: Thank you! I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!**

 **Guest: I am glad you have recovered. I have limited knowledge on eating disorders but I understand that you don't get 100% better. Thank you for pointing that out to me and I'm glad you liked it. This is for you. I hope you enjoy this.**

 **TRIGGER WARNING: INCLUDES SUICIDE ATTEMPTS, SELF HARM MENTIONS, EATING DISORDERS ETC. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.**

 **-1 Year Later-**

 **Lucas' POV**

'Hey, Ranger Rick,' my favorite blonde says down the phone. 'Wanna tell me what you are wearing to the dance tonight?'

'Hey Maya, and no, I don't,' I laugh back.

Me and Maya have been dating for almost a year now. It all happened after we discovered everything that was going on with her. But now, she knows, that this isn't the way forward. She believes me now, when I compliment her. It's great to see that she now realises how beautiful she really is.

'Huckleberry!'

'So, _short stack_ , are you going to tell me what you're wearing?' I retort

'Let me see...nope!'

We talk for about ten minutes more before she has to leave to go dress shopping with Riley.

I think back to the days when me and Riley were a thing. She was right, we are more of a brother and sister; I was blinded by my love for her to realise in what way I love her.

 **Riley's POV**

'So what color are you thinking Riles?'

I turn slowly and smile at Maya.

'No, Riley, you can't have a rainbow dress!' I look at her with a sad face and do puppy dog eyes.

'Awww' she smiles and then tries to stop herself 'You know that ain't gonna work on me' she says pointing a finger at me.

My shoulders slump so she suggests having a look at some brighter dress.

'Pastel works nicely,'

We flick through several rails until something catches my eye.

'It's beautiful!' I state holding it up for Maya to see. Not only is it pastel, it is almost like a rainbow (A/N: link will be up on my profile).

 **Maya's POV**

Now that we have picked Riley's dress, we're onto mine. I want something dark- to match my soul.

I spot a black dress that fades out to a dark blue and I love it!

We go to pay for the dresses and head out of the store. I'm actually happy with my dress and it won't show much of my legs. I just hope that Lucas actually likes it.

-TIME SKIP TO NIGHT OF THE DANCE-

After I climb out of the bath and put on my dress, it's time to do our hair and makeup. Riley sits next to me and her mom does our hair. She does Rileys first and makes a little bow with her brown, curled hair. Topanga never ceases to amaze me on how amazingly talented she is.

It'll be a miracle if she makes me look nice tonight.

I haven't told Lucas that lately, I've been having these thoughts again- I just don't want to bother him or bring any unwanted attention to myself and make myself look weak.

Before I know it, I'm snapped out of my daze by Topanga telling me to sit down. I do and then she starts to do a waterfall braid in my hair, which is also curled.

I look in the mirror and everyone looks at me.

I look...nice...but I've gained the weight I shouldn't have done.

However, it's nothing that a little diet can't fix.

 **-AT THE DANCE-**

 **STILL MAYA'S POV**

I look round and Lucas is comes through in his tux. He looks amazing!

I gasp and he runs and picks me up and twirls me around.

'Maya, you look amazing!'

He's lying. I go stiff

'You okay, Maya?' He asks, concerned.

He isn't concerned. Why would he be worried about his fat girlfriend? I take a deep breath, ready to blurt out everything that's been going on in my mind but instead I yell

'Put me down, Huckleberry!'

'Okay, Shortstack!' he responds chuckling.

-LINE BREAK-

We head over to the where the drinks are on a long table. He picks one up and hands it to me and as I look at the bright pink fizz, all I can remember is this website which showed how many sugar cubes are in fizzy drink.

I need to _lose_ weight, not gain it! The amount of calories must be extortionate!

I hold onto the pink poison and as Riley, Zay, Farkle and Lucas raise their glasses, I do too. Mr Matthews has joined us too.

They all sip from their fine glasses but I just look uncertainly. I raise it to my lips but hesitantly but then remember. _I don't want to end up fat._

I'm broken away from my thoughts as Mr Matthews whispers in my ear

'You sure you're okay, Maya?'

I look up and smile 'Yeah, why wouldn't I be?' I cross my fingers behind my back and hope that he doesn't notice the fear in my eyes.

He raises his eyebrows in response. He's not stupid. It's like he knows the one thing that'll convince him.

I raise the glass to my lips and he watches steadily. I close my eyes and down the entire glass.

 _The entire glass._ All that sugar. All those calories. All those pounds.

I need to puke.

But I can't. I'm under close watch.

 **-AT HOME-**

 **STILL MAYA'S POV**

We are all sat at the Matthew's house and Riley, Farkle and Zay are looking at photos and taking some more.

I need the bathroom. I can feel the fat from the drink and the meal I was forced to eat building up.

But I can't. For some reason, Mr Matthews is watching me and won't leave me alone. I don't care. I'll find a way. After all, who wants their daughter to have a fat friend?

Then, an idea hits me.

I open up messenger and type my own number. I type a few letters, send the text and my phone beeps.

'Um, guys, I have to go, my mom's waiting for me outside,' I say

'You want someone to come down with you, it's pretty late?' Topanga says

'Nope, I'll be good!' I reply 'Thank you for tonight!'

I shut the door and run down to the flat entrance. There are public toilets there.

I open the door and go into a stall and lock it.

 **Cory's POV**

I watch as Maya shuts the door.

'Riley, Lucas, can you come with me?' I interrupt the group taking pictures.

'Sure, Mr Matthews,' Lucas says. As we leave the apartment, Lucas asks what is up.

He's a good guy. He really is.

'It's Maya...' I see Riley begin to frown 'I think-'

'No. No way!' Riley says staring into space

They run down the stairs and I go too.

Me and Lucas reluctantly pause as we can't go into the ladies' restroom.

'You okay, Lucas?' I ask

'No! How can I be okay?! My girlfriend hates herself to the point where she is doing this to herself!' He rests his head on the wall and I see tears form in his eyes. I rub his back.

'I'm not good enough for her! If I'm not making her see how truly amazing she is then...I'm not good enough!' He yells.

I feel heartbroken.

'I know this feeling all too well,' I murmur

Lucas looks up.

'But you are great with Maya!'

I nod my head. 'This isn't about Maya, Lucas,' I state sadly.

'Who?'

'My best friend,' I say 'Shawn had very low self esteem. To the point where he used to harm himself,' I pause as the memory hits me. 'Until one day...he just went to far,'

'He attempted to...end it?' Lucas says.

I can only nod. Lucas apologises and we sit on the bench talking for a bit. It feels good.

- **MEANWHILE-**

 **Riley's POV**

I go to each stall until I find her.

'Maya! I know you are in there!' I yell 'Open this door, now!'

Silence. And then I hear sniffing. There's only one way to get her to open this door.

'Ring Power.' I say boldly. Even though she can't see, I hold up my ring.

No response. I feel tears building up.

'You are my sister. This ring, symbolizes that. It means so much to me, as do you. And I am saying, that you must open this door. You need to tell me what's going on!'

I pause again.

'Let me in Maya'

I stand back. Tears are wetting my face now...

The door unlocks and I run into her arms. We hug closely and I put my arm around her.

We leave the stalls and see Daddy and Lucas sat together. They stand up.

'You are strong Maya! We stopped you, you are okay,'

We watch, as she breaks down in front of us. She whispers, hoarsely, three words. Three words that make me feel dizzy

'I'm not okay'

 **Lucas' POV**

'I'm not okay'

My world collapses. She relapsed. I can see shame and remorse written all over her beautiful face.

'It's not your fault Maya!' Farkle says

'It is' she says

'Actually, scientific studies say that it is pretty much impossible to recover from an...this, without relapsing at least once,' Farkle says

'It's not your fault,' Riley says with her arm around Maya

'Can I just ask you something?' Maya says, looking at Mr Matthews.

'Go for it,' he says

'How, how did you know?'

We all look over at Mr Matthews. 'Yeah, how did you?' I ask

 **Riley's POV**

I didn't even know. So how did Daddy? We all look at him expectantly.

'Shawn.' He says which mystifies me. What does Uncle Shawn have to do with this?

'Maya, Riley, I'm going to tell you something. Something that threatened Shawn. He used to despise himself. As you already know, he had a bit of a rocky childhood...'

FLASHBACK

 **Cory's POV**

 _I go into my room and see a letter laying on my pillow with my name in the familiar writing. Shawn._

 _I smile and walk over to see what my goofy friend has written and as I open the envelope, my eyes begin to read the words quicker and quicker._

 _One word at the end makes me get up and run._

Goodbye.

 _He wouldn't...would he? Before I know it, I'm running through the streets. My lack of shoes only occurs to me halfway, but I keep going._

 _I have to get to him._

 _I climb in through his window and see the room..tidy. Tidy, so unlike Shawn. He really means to tie up all loose ends..._

 _I run to the bathroom screaming his name in anguish._

 _I grab pull a hairgrip outta my pocket of Topanga's and insert it into the lock and run in to see Shawn lying on the floor. No words come._

 _I fall to the ground and his dad comes in._

 _I can't lose my best friend. Not now, not ever._

BACK TO PRESENT

I begin to tear up but I have to stay strong for Maya.

They all look at me in sympathy except Riley who stares ahead, focusing on nothing.

'Maya, you aren't alone. Ever,' Zay speaks up.

'Yeah, we all love you...We need you! Imagine if Uncle Shawn...succeeded...You wouldn't have him.' Lucas says. I know how hard this will have hit him and Riley hardest.

Topanga comes over and puts her arm around me after giving Maya some water.

 **Maya's POV**

I sip the water Topanga has given me and I don't speak. I just listen.

Once again, I realise how much they care. They wouldn't be here right now if it weren't worth it. If I wasn't worth it.

I look up and blurt out 'I'm sorry'

They look at me and Topanga says 'There's no need Maya'

'No, I'm sorry that I was blind to your love. I know now, you do care and like me the way I am. I just gotta remember this..'

'Take all the time you need Maya. We are waiting' Riley says and I feel this warm glow inside.

'We aren't going anywhere.'

 **THE END**

 **A/N: Soooo, what d'ya think? I didn't really proof read this one because I just wanted to get it out there...Just let me know what you think in a review! I love you all and feel free to request any ideas!**

 **~SibunaMockingjay**


	3. AUTHOR'S NOTE

**A/N:** **I wanted to just say, that there is a movie coming out, by one of my favourite actresses of all time (Troian Bellisario) called Feed. it's partly based on her real struggles with anorexia and I thought, seeing as this story focuses on eating disorders and grief as well, that I'd might as well let you know about it. It comes out on VOD and all digital platforms on July 18th.**

Please take care when watching and find appropriate trigger warnings on the internet (it's PG-13)

.com

 **They are on instagram, Feedthemovie**

 **Thank you for all the support you have shown. I really appreciate it and I hope you are all doing well.**

 **Check out my new GMW story, Who Wants Flowers When You're Dead**

Thanks guys,

~SibunaMockingjay


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